One of the Articles Written by my Batchmate -Siddhart
http://www.facebook.com/Siddharth.Fofo.Janarthanan
If I am to talk about women based on the experience with my mother, I would have to say they are extraordinarily (sometimes irritatingly) stubborn, supremely far-sighted, thankfully atheistic and with an amusingly messy room. But my mother does not represent the world of women. She is just one oddly wondrous piece among millions of other equally amazing ones. And that is how everybody feels about their mother. Whatever said and done, as long as mothers exist in this world, women will never lose their place in the hearts of all, irrespective of gender. Does that mean this writer thinks motherhood to be the sole attribute and purpose of womanhood? Of course not. I have just said motherhood is one attribute of women that no one cannot think of; a forte no man can ever take up for himself.
History is full of examples of outstanding women across all known human fields. Science, politics, arts, sports, religion, administration, education have all had the privilege of having been shaped and nourished by hundreds of astoundingly inspiring and courageous women. My own personal favourite is Elizabeth I, the Virgin Queen of England who revolutionised the English way of life against many odds and established the country’s Golden Age. A highly passionate and resolute monarch with brilliant administrative capabilities, she reached the heights that none of her predecessors nor successors (male or female) matched up to.
It is well known that women have had a tumultuous standing in society. It is believed that in the ancient civilisations, men and women were considered socially equal, but somewhere in the middle, things changed. And not for the good. Women faced repurcussions just about everywhere; inside the house, at the work places, in the arts etc. The feminist movement then came into being, to bring about gender equality. Its been a long process and its still ongoing, and thankfully things are changing. While true gender equality will be achieved only with a fundamental shift in the society’s perception of women, policies are being made in the right direction.
Sadly, in the developing Asian countries, I feel women, more often than not, are their own biggest obstacles to overcome in order to achieve liberation. Many a time, I have seen families where the girl’s own mother, aunts and grandmothers end up being the most prominent dream-snuffers and oppressors. One would think that these women will be the beacons of hope who will provide the support they never got, to the girls, but unfortunately that’s not the case.
So what do I think of women? Well, they come in all shapes and sizes and shades alright. Pretty things with an astounding depth of heart (men do too, but they aint that pretty if I may say so). They are the only species on the planet who physically torture themselves to look good; and have such hope and tenacity they put me to shame. The one thing that I will not say about them is that, “they complete men” or, they are “the perfect balance for men” etc. I find the idea of attributing their very existence and purpose to support men or complete them highly offensive. And well, also because, men are quite complete themselves :D
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
2nd Year - 2nd Semester
First Day at NTU
Senior : Which Course ?
Me: CE
Senior : Full Form Nahi Aaata ?
Me: Computer Engineering
Senior: Kaha se hai ?
Me: Ranchi
Senior : Acha Bihari hai ?
Me: nahi , Jharkhandi ( I shouldn't have said that)
Acha chal CE meh hai isiliye chor raha hoon.
This was the respect or you may call it sympathy you get from people when they come to know that you are in CE. This is all due to just one Semester. Which is - 2.2. It has become my slogan kind. 2.2 hai yaar!!
A semester where other non CE Students get angry as you generally don't go clubbing with them. Your batchmates become sarcastic if you are not seen for a few days.Mom-Dad finally start realizing the distance inspite of Skype and phone. Brother feels amzazed that how come I dont get enough time even to make a phone call. GirlFriend is happy with saying the three Ultimate Words that a GirlFriend says that makes you feel so happy. Any guesses? No, I am not talking about expressing those words of love, but I am talking about " KOI BAAT NAHI".
This semester you are given two bags. Both of them equally interesting when you go to issue them initially with lot of LEDs. You also have to make Public Bus Simulator which is fine but when you have a Canadian Professor then it makes it worse. Besides this you have subject like Operating System which I hardly consider as part of this semester's workload, not because its damn easy but I hardly get time to realize its presence.
This is not it. At this stage, you are expected to have a lot of knowledge about different companies around Singapore. This is the time you are also expected to apply for Industrial Attachment( A semester long internship in the 3rd Year, Sem1/2). The only hope for some rest is the coming Summers. Oh wait. Don't you wish to do something fruitful this summer?How can you waste the summer. So,time to sacrifice your India Visit. Time to Sacrifice the food that gives you orgasm even when you even think about it. Time to sacrfice everything you wish to do in Summers(Censored).
Is studying everything? Is finishing your projects enough. Oh wait! You wont get an on campus accommodation if you don't go for ECA's. With the shitty system, hardly anyone expects getting a room except if you have won some elections and have enough points.
This is one of the Projects that I did this semester. A Micro-controller Project, Kinect sensors were the additional feature I used which was the coolest thing for the Proff.
Senior : Which Course ?
Me: CE
Senior : Full Form Nahi Aaata ?
Me: Computer Engineering
Senior: Kaha se hai ?
Me: Ranchi
Senior : Acha Bihari hai ?
Me: nahi , Jharkhandi ( I shouldn't have said that)
Acha chal CE meh hai isiliye chor raha hoon.
This was the respect or you may call it sympathy you get from people when they come to know that you are in CE. This is all due to just one Semester. Which is - 2.2. It has become my slogan kind. 2.2 hai yaar!!
A semester where other non CE Students get angry as you generally don't go clubbing with them. Your batchmates become sarcastic if you are not seen for a few days.Mom-Dad finally start realizing the distance inspite of Skype and phone. Brother feels amzazed that how come I dont get enough time even to make a phone call. GirlFriend is happy with saying the three Ultimate Words that a GirlFriend says that makes you feel so happy. Any guesses? No, I am not talking about expressing those words of love, but I am talking about " KOI BAAT NAHI".
This semester you are given two bags. Both of them equally interesting when you go to issue them initially with lot of LEDs. You also have to make Public Bus Simulator which is fine but when you have a Canadian Professor then it makes it worse. Besides this you have subject like Operating System which I hardly consider as part of this semester's workload, not because its damn easy but I hardly get time to realize its presence.
This is not it. At this stage, you are expected to have a lot of knowledge about different companies around Singapore. This is the time you are also expected to apply for Industrial Attachment( A semester long internship in the 3rd Year, Sem1/2). The only hope for some rest is the coming Summers. Oh wait. Don't you wish to do something fruitful this summer?How can you waste the summer. So,time to sacrifice your India Visit. Time to Sacrifice the food that gives you orgasm even when you even think about it. Time to sacrfice everything you wish to do in Summers(Censored).
Is studying everything? Is finishing your projects enough. Oh wait! You wont get an on campus accommodation if you don't go for ECA's. With the shitty system, hardly anyone expects getting a room except if you have won some elections and have enough points.
This is one of the Projects that I did this semester. A Micro-controller Project, Kinect sensors were the additional feature I used which was the coolest thing for the Proff.
Courtesy - FUNCAGE.com
Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Saturday, October 9, 2010
THE BADA MOON NIGHT - DEVIKA SHINDE
THE ‘BADAA MOON’ (like full moon) NIGHT (Also the night when the Singapore F1 Grand Prix practice session was in progress, when we saw Dabang, tried our voices and guitars at music, haunted the campus and didn’t sleep a wink)
Honestly, this is going to take me eternity. And yet I am bravely embarking on this very tedious task of detailing the last 17 hours of my life. Why? ( I ll list three points since three sounds like a complete reasoning). Because, point one, some days (not to forget the nights) just demand and deserve this kind of attention and appreciation and point two (most importantly) I don’t want to be studying and point three I am so random!
(A disclaimer. The proceedings of the night have been so chaotic, random, funny, stupid, weird that try as I might, I know I cannot portray the craziness here. I can recap the night and hopefully, through that, we relive the night.)
I guess the story starts on a fine Friday evening (6 pm on 24 th September 2010) with a message from a certain Dilparinder Singh with the proposal to watch ‘Dabang’ the very same evening. After a dozen messages sent to and fro and here and there (facebook included), the 7 55 pm show of Dabang at Jade, Bugis is fixed and, in a way, the stage on which the drama for the entire night is to unfold, is set. The movie party consists of Amitabh Awasthi, Devika Shinde (the one writing this), Dilparinder Singh, Harjoben Singh and Varun Banka (names strictly in alphabetical order). All this while, my dear Russian professor is painstakingly explaining radiation in his dear Russian mafia accent and announcing a not-so-dear CA scheduled for the next week. It is 6 30 pm as I run out of LT 20.
Boon Lay Interchange. In typical Indian style, it is 7 30 as everyone gets to the interchange (as against the decided 7 pm) which pretty much rules out the plan of taking a MRT train to Bugis. A seemingly panicking wait for Mr Awasthi (in which we considered leaving our senior behind), a not-so-long wait at the taxi stand (where we run into Karan and Ananya out to execute their pool-playing plans and wondered why people don’t car pool and patiently watch women load one grocery bag after another into the taxi – one even had a foldable trolley) , a few detours thanks to the Singapore F1 Grand Prix and we are at Jade 5 minutes late for the movie.
The journey here demands some more words to its credit. I actually wish I had had a recorder to reproduce all the randomness (this word is soon going to be amazingly overused) that the poor cab driver had to endure. And unfortunately I do not have the skill to put it in words (actually, is that even possible?). Among the usual accusations of “Kitna ganda sochta hai” and the blatant lies of “Hum kitne shareef aur seedhe saadhe hai!” and the usual senseless chatter (which our cab driver silently endured) two things stand out.
Mr Amitabh Awasthi – recollecting for us the Year One of his batch mate, a certain Miss Pavani. This Miss Pavani was personally offered a high funda post (which I don’t remember right now) in year one by a certain senior Dimas. On quizzed why so, Mr Awasthi answers with a mysterious “I don’t know why.” which is quite enough to lend wings to our (dirty) thoughts and make us burst into even more laughter (since we were already laughing).
Mr Harjoben Singh. I think he was telling us a story about something when all of a sudden he excitedly points to the sky (we are still in the taxi) and ends his half finished sentence with a “kitna badaa moon hai!” The rest of the time was basically spent in debating how big the moon really was, how accurately Joe had recorded the size of the ‘badaa moon’, comparing it to the average size of the moon in India (and then in various cities), how the ‘Singaporewala moon’ is different from the one in India, how Banka and I are drunk for not joining in the discussion and making fun of it and how the spectators at the F 1 circuit might be enjoying the sight of cars zooming by at the Esplanade Circuit with the backdrop of a dark sky in which hangs a ‘badaa moon’.
Jade. So we reach 5 minutes late. The first scene we see as we settle into some random seats is Salman Khan shooting a co police officer who wishes a promotion for nabbing thieves (so that they can fake an encounter). I am not even attempting to explain the movie here. It was fun, amazing fun as we laughed our way through the whole movie popping pop-corn (which some declared to be too sweet) and with our legs comfortably perched on the row ahead. A special mention here to Salman Khan’s dance steps, to Makkhi, to Munni, to subtitles (without which this movie would have made minimal sense to me), to the dialogue writer (who according to my Google research are Jalees Sherwani, Faaiz Anwar and Lalit Pandit- I wonder why we couldn’t find them in the credits) and to the 3 D animations.
Another special mention ( and a complete paragraph) to Joe’s ambitious and adventurous plans. The Bond guy has decided to sky dive ( so what) without a parachute ( OMG). Awasthi is shattered and we remind him of our plan to forcibly make him go for reverse bungee jumping. That is enough to freak him out for the moment. Joe is meanwhile detailing his outlined sky diving plan. One memorable situation considered was the complications faced if he ends up above a water body instead of solid land ( I think water is easier to manage here than solid ground). The discussion closes with the conclusion that worst case scenario it will be the first and last time that Joe does sky diving. All thoughts of fear and insecurity are drowned as the huge screen flashes “Live each day like its your last.” as though urging Joe to go with his dream plan. A message from the universe Joe.
Post movie. We run into a few seniors of whom I remember are Srinath – Mathangi (both wearing matching purple shirts) and Ankita Gupta (“Hi, I am the new ISCS President). After a couple of chicken/paneer tikka rolls depending on nonveg/ veg preference ( one being sponsored by DPS for the ‘Bharteeya’ experience) and a chocolate muffin everyone has a good shot at me and my chocolate), the general plan is to head back to campus ( “MRT yaar! Taxi nahi karni”) but the roar of F1 cars calls us and we make our way in the general track direction knowing very well that we won’t be able to see a thing and yet not ready to turn back without trying. After walking as far as allowed, we head back to campus dreaming about the time when IA will allow us to buy the F1 tickets.
City Hall MRT. Joe is suddenly seized by a desire to prove that he is the tallest or maybe it was to find out his height ( I dont know). So basically, everyone is measured against him and the difference in height is added to the person’s height. (Important assumption: Joe is taller than the person he is being measured against , except DPS.) The technique fails rather spectacularly as he ends up with at least three different heights for himself. Tsk tsk.
City Hall MRT again.Banka locks Joe’s mouth and drops the key into my mouth which effectively means that Joe cannot talk (which is a relief for some time after the excessive taxi-talking over ‘badaa moon’). The MRT ride is pretty much spent by DPS in trying to make me admit a supposed crush over Banka and then sending a message to Mehak about it which leads to a fight for the possession of DPS’ phone which further leads to memorable lines as “Don’t touch my instruments.” Joe, though silent, actively supports DPS. This continues till attention turns to Awasthi and he is grilledabout the girls he likes. After much time (for the people being grilled) Boon Lay finally comes and offers reprieve as a few more seniors meet us on bus and the topic turns to jobs and fourth years and poems to be written for birthdays. Joe has been relieved of his imposed silence but for some reason prefers not talking.
Hall 12 Lounge. The plan is to start ‘Cheapfucks’ on the lines of the quite popular ‘Cheapmuncks’ video doing its rounds in NTU (you are an outcast if you haven’t heard it). A few juniors join in and what follows is a trailer of the night to be. Random guitar strumming of random songs with random singing (sorry, DPS put his heart and soul into the singing) with Joe clicking random pictures from random cameras of random people doing random things (coming soon on facebook). Joe finally opens his mouth to sing Sutta when he sees us struggle with the lyrics. Attempts are made by certain people to delete certain photos with no success. Opinions of the Straits Times on the CWG are read. Frustration levels rise due Nikes squeaking on the floor. Inanimate objects are declared the most photogenic in the room. For record, we hear the ‘Shanty News’!
Outside Hall 12 Lounge. Post 12 am the lounge is declared too hot and the party moves out into the open. A random race later, we find ourselves walking to NIE.
**DANGER: YOUR ARE ENTERING A HIGHLY RANDOM ZONE. ADVANCE WITH CAUTION.**
NIE. Banka, Joe and I find ourselves at the NIE basketball courts. We call the others to join us there but don’t last there ourselves (we do stay there to randomly play tag and randomly roll the roller around) due to a sudden random desire to visit SSC.
The NIE lift, stopped at Level 1. There is a random attempt to click a particular random picture for a considerable amount of time. Upon successful execution, we spill out of the closed lift into fresh air and make our way to the spine, taking random water breaks at every water cooler.
The Photo ( sorry Banka)
North Spine. Joe and I decide that we like the noise of our Nikes on the floor and randomly go squeaking our shoes till we spot a Police Car. Another random water break follows. We randomly pick up a Tribune at North Spine
SSC. The Tribune is torn apart to serve as a thing to sit on to protect us from the wet grass as we sit on the slope behind SSC. What follows are random stories- ‘Mumbai’ (told by Devika), ‘Places I have stayed and studied at in India’ ( told by Joe), ‘Meeting with APJ Abdul Kalam’(told by Banka), ‘School’ (contributions by all) among others. Finally I decide my backside is too numb to sit there anymore and we change base again.
ADM. Joe decides to randomly sit on the railing, Banka randomly lies down and protects his head from wet grass with the same Tribune and I spread the Tribune on the top of a random lamp and sit atop it randomly. We admire the ‘badaa moon’ (which isn’t ‘badaa’ anymore) and identify Orion constellation. With music in the background, we review the random pictures taken till then till my cell battery dies out, discuss the Ladder Theory, discuss all the recent couples on campus, decide that Joe and I are the minority singles left on campus ( “Love is in the air”, says Banka, the committed boy, “tum log bhi dhhodhna shuru karo”) . Immediately every eligible and non-eligible person of the opposite sex in put under the scanner and ranked according to the newly learnt Ladder Theory with much confusion on my part about who goes where leading me to form new ladders and much hilarity on Joe’s part as he places people below the ladder length ( which he does not admit to). Joe discovers a small hole in the pipeline through which water is spraying in the form a fine mist and analysis starts. We decide to see dawn and then leave.
Its dawn. Hunger strikes. Time to change camp. We walk down the cement lining till we think we won’t fall and break some bones and run to Can 2.
Can2. Its closed when we enter. We watch the stalls preparing for the day, finally get our breakfast and fight over whether or not to upload the random pictures on facebook. Further on, our singlehood is attacked by Banka, the committed boy. We are through with breakfast after a few problems ( “I want ice Milo without the ice.”) but no one wants to leave. Joe decides to make himself a wrist band out of the straw (maybe he got very fond of it). After much thought, it is decided that we play pool.
Nanyang House (up the frikking hill). Its closed on Saturdays. So we turn all the way round and sit watching some Chinese fidgeting around with the lion dance costumes. Randomness strikes. I try the ‘Anuja chain thing’. Supposedly, Banka and Joe are having a son and a daughter each(separately). Topic moves back to eligible people on campus. Two guys realise the extent of my randomness.
SRC Tracks. Joe is rather quiet and declares Banka and me to be drunk for laughing at random things. I randomly declare that I like my shoes and Banka randomly retorts “You like your shoes. You love your shoes. Go propose to them.” We identify a problem as Banka and I are following the same though process about things which is pretty scary. We randomly check our weights at the SRC area. I rejoice on having crossed half century! For once in my life, I weight 51 ! Note that though I wore shoes, Nike guarantees that they weigh no more than 400 grams so i am still above 50. Yippee! Memorable day. Joe’s desire to know his height is left undone as the tallest measuring thing SRC has reaches till our waists. We randomly decide that the two girls on the tracks would be better off not jogging and decide to move on.
Hall 8 Lounge. Signs of fatigue show. On our way to the Hall, we notice the Police car returning back. We reach the lounge and crash with my laptop. Like good NTU students, we check our mails and immediately log on to facebook. Banka, eager to see my hidden albums, is trying to convince me to log in with no success. The same thought process creepiness carries on initiating a HI 6 from Banka which is met with a shocked reaction on my part and an admittance of not having seen HIMYM Season 6. Photos are transferred from the cell (now charging) to the laptop and scrutinized by voting (which pretty much goes for a toss later). Randomness follows with threats to break my facebook password, my dear lappie being declared ‘too slow’ by two CE/CS (even God can’t remember, only they themselves know) students with the promise of getting it back to normal, with random chatting and devil face chatting on skype and (in my case) bursting into peals of laughter on seeing Joe’s amazingly expressionless face. Suddenly we realise its near noon.
Honestly, this is going to take me eternity. And yet I am bravely embarking on this very tedious task of detailing the last 17 hours of my life. Why? ( I ll list three points since three sounds like a complete reasoning). Because, point one, some days (not to forget the nights) just demand and deserve this kind of attention and appreciation and point two (most importantly) I don’t want to be studying and point three I am so random!
(A disclaimer. The proceedings of the night have been so chaotic, random, funny, stupid, weird that try as I might, I know I cannot portray the craziness here. I can recap the night and hopefully, through that, we relive the night.)
I guess the story starts on a fine Friday evening (6 pm on 24 th September 2010) with a message from a certain Dilparinder Singh with the proposal to watch ‘Dabang’ the very same evening. After a dozen messages sent to and fro and here and there (facebook included), the 7 55 pm show of Dabang at Jade, Bugis is fixed and, in a way, the stage on which the drama for the entire night is to unfold, is set. The movie party consists of Amitabh Awasthi, Devika Shinde (the one writing this), Dilparinder Singh, Harjoben Singh and Varun Banka (names strictly in alphabetical order). All this while, my dear Russian professor is painstakingly explaining radiation in his dear Russian mafia accent and announcing a not-so-dear CA scheduled for the next week. It is 6 30 pm as I run out of LT 20.
Boon Lay Interchange. In typical Indian style, it is 7 30 as everyone gets to the interchange (as against the decided 7 pm) which pretty much rules out the plan of taking a MRT train to Bugis. A seemingly panicking wait for Mr Awasthi (in which we considered leaving our senior behind), a not-so-long wait at the taxi stand (where we run into Karan and Ananya out to execute their pool-playing plans and wondered why people don’t car pool and patiently watch women load one grocery bag after another into the taxi – one even had a foldable trolley) , a few detours thanks to the Singapore F1 Grand Prix and we are at Jade 5 minutes late for the movie.
The journey here demands some more words to its credit. I actually wish I had had a recorder to reproduce all the randomness (this word is soon going to be amazingly overused) that the poor cab driver had to endure. And unfortunately I do not have the skill to put it in words (actually, is that even possible?). Among the usual accusations of “Kitna ganda sochta hai” and the blatant lies of “Hum kitne shareef aur seedhe saadhe hai!” and the usual senseless chatter (which our cab driver silently endured) two things stand out.
Mr Amitabh Awasthi – recollecting for us the Year One of his batch mate, a certain Miss Pavani. This Miss Pavani was personally offered a high funda post (which I don’t remember right now) in year one by a certain senior Dimas. On quizzed why so, Mr Awasthi answers with a mysterious “I don’t know why.” which is quite enough to lend wings to our (dirty) thoughts and make us burst into even more laughter (since we were already laughing).
Mr Harjoben Singh. I think he was telling us a story about something when all of a sudden he excitedly points to the sky (we are still in the taxi) and ends his half finished sentence with a “kitna badaa moon hai!” The rest of the time was basically spent in debating how big the moon really was, how accurately Joe had recorded the size of the ‘badaa moon’, comparing it to the average size of the moon in India (and then in various cities), how the ‘Singaporewala moon’ is different from the one in India, how Banka and I are drunk for not joining in the discussion and making fun of it and how the spectators at the F 1 circuit might be enjoying the sight of cars zooming by at the Esplanade Circuit with the backdrop of a dark sky in which hangs a ‘badaa moon’.
Jade. So we reach 5 minutes late. The first scene we see as we settle into some random seats is Salman Khan shooting a co police officer who wishes a promotion for nabbing thieves (so that they can fake an encounter). I am not even attempting to explain the movie here. It was fun, amazing fun as we laughed our way through the whole movie popping pop-corn (which some declared to be too sweet) and with our legs comfortably perched on the row ahead. A special mention here to Salman Khan’s dance steps, to Makkhi, to Munni, to subtitles (without which this movie would have made minimal sense to me), to the dialogue writer (who according to my Google research are Jalees Sherwani, Faaiz Anwar and Lalit Pandit- I wonder why we couldn’t find them in the credits) and to the 3 D animations.
Another special mention ( and a complete paragraph) to Joe’s ambitious and adventurous plans. The Bond guy has decided to sky dive ( so what) without a parachute ( OMG). Awasthi is shattered and we remind him of our plan to forcibly make him go for reverse bungee jumping. That is enough to freak him out for the moment. Joe is meanwhile detailing his outlined sky diving plan. One memorable situation considered was the complications faced if he ends up above a water body instead of solid land ( I think water is easier to manage here than solid ground). The discussion closes with the conclusion that worst case scenario it will be the first and last time that Joe does sky diving. All thoughts of fear and insecurity are drowned as the huge screen flashes “Live each day like its your last.” as though urging Joe to go with his dream plan. A message from the universe Joe.
Post movie. We run into a few seniors of whom I remember are Srinath – Mathangi (both wearing matching purple shirts) and Ankita Gupta (“Hi, I am the new ISCS President). After a couple of chicken/paneer tikka rolls depending on nonveg/ veg preference ( one being sponsored by DPS for the ‘Bharteeya’ experience) and a chocolate muffin everyone has a good shot at me and my chocolate), the general plan is to head back to campus ( “MRT yaar! Taxi nahi karni”) but the roar of F1 cars calls us and we make our way in the general track direction knowing very well that we won’t be able to see a thing and yet not ready to turn back without trying. After walking as far as allowed, we head back to campus dreaming about the time when IA will allow us to buy the F1 tickets.
City Hall MRT. Joe is suddenly seized by a desire to prove that he is the tallest or maybe it was to find out his height ( I dont know). So basically, everyone is measured against him and the difference in height is added to the person’s height. (Important assumption: Joe is taller than the person he is being measured against , except DPS.) The technique fails rather spectacularly as he ends up with at least three different heights for himself. Tsk tsk.
City Hall MRT again.Banka locks Joe’s mouth and drops the key into my mouth which effectively means that Joe cannot talk (which is a relief for some time after the excessive taxi-talking over ‘badaa moon’). The MRT ride is pretty much spent by DPS in trying to make me admit a supposed crush over Banka and then sending a message to Mehak about it which leads to a fight for the possession of DPS’ phone which further leads to memorable lines as “Don’t touch my instruments.” Joe, though silent, actively supports DPS. This continues till attention turns to Awasthi and he is grilledabout the girls he likes. After much time (for the people being grilled) Boon Lay finally comes and offers reprieve as a few more seniors meet us on bus and the topic turns to jobs and fourth years and poems to be written for birthdays. Joe has been relieved of his imposed silence but for some reason prefers not talking.
Hall 12 Lounge. The plan is to start ‘Cheapfucks’ on the lines of the quite popular ‘Cheapmuncks’ video doing its rounds in NTU (you are an outcast if you haven’t heard it). A few juniors join in and what follows is a trailer of the night to be. Random guitar strumming of random songs with random singing (sorry, DPS put his heart and soul into the singing) with Joe clicking random pictures from random cameras of random people doing random things (coming soon on facebook). Joe finally opens his mouth to sing Sutta when he sees us struggle with the lyrics. Attempts are made by certain people to delete certain photos with no success. Opinions of the Straits Times on the CWG are read. Frustration levels rise due Nikes squeaking on the floor. Inanimate objects are declared the most photogenic in the room. For record, we hear the ‘Shanty News’!
Outside Hall 12 Lounge. Post 12 am the lounge is declared too hot and the party moves out into the open. A random race later, we find ourselves walking to NIE.
**DANGER: YOUR ARE ENTERING A HIGHLY RANDOM ZONE. ADVANCE WITH CAUTION.**
NIE. Banka, Joe and I find ourselves at the NIE basketball courts. We call the others to join us there but don’t last there ourselves (we do stay there to randomly play tag and randomly roll the roller around) due to a sudden random desire to visit SSC.
The NIE lift, stopped at Level 1. There is a random attempt to click a particular random picture for a considerable amount of time. Upon successful execution, we spill out of the closed lift into fresh air and make our way to the spine, taking random water breaks at every water cooler.
The Photo ( sorry Banka)
North Spine. Joe and I decide that we like the noise of our Nikes on the floor and randomly go squeaking our shoes till we spot a Police Car. Another random water break follows. We randomly pick up a Tribune at North Spine
SSC. The Tribune is torn apart to serve as a thing to sit on to protect us from the wet grass as we sit on the slope behind SSC. What follows are random stories- ‘Mumbai’ (told by Devika), ‘Places I have stayed and studied at in India’ ( told by Joe), ‘Meeting with APJ Abdul Kalam’(told by Banka), ‘School’ (contributions by all) among others. Finally I decide my backside is too numb to sit there anymore and we change base again.
ADM. Joe decides to randomly sit on the railing, Banka randomly lies down and protects his head from wet grass with the same Tribune and I spread the Tribune on the top of a random lamp and sit atop it randomly. We admire the ‘badaa moon’ (which isn’t ‘badaa’ anymore) and identify Orion constellation. With music in the background, we review the random pictures taken till then till my cell battery dies out, discuss the Ladder Theory, discuss all the recent couples on campus, decide that Joe and I are the minority singles left on campus ( “Love is in the air”, says Banka, the committed boy, “tum log bhi dhhodhna shuru karo”) . Immediately every eligible and non-eligible person of the opposite sex in put under the scanner and ranked according to the newly learnt Ladder Theory with much confusion on my part about who goes where leading me to form new ladders and much hilarity on Joe’s part as he places people below the ladder length ( which he does not admit to). Joe discovers a small hole in the pipeline through which water is spraying in the form a fine mist and analysis starts. We decide to see dawn and then leave.
Its dawn. Hunger strikes. Time to change camp. We walk down the cement lining till we think we won’t fall and break some bones and run to Can 2.
Can2. Its closed when we enter. We watch the stalls preparing for the day, finally get our breakfast and fight over whether or not to upload the random pictures on facebook. Further on, our singlehood is attacked by Banka, the committed boy. We are through with breakfast after a few problems ( “I want ice Milo without the ice.”) but no one wants to leave. Joe decides to make himself a wrist band out of the straw (maybe he got very fond of it). After much thought, it is decided that we play pool.
Nanyang House (up the frikking hill). Its closed on Saturdays. So we turn all the way round and sit watching some Chinese fidgeting around with the lion dance costumes. Randomness strikes. I try the ‘Anuja chain thing’. Supposedly, Banka and Joe are having a son and a daughter each(separately). Topic moves back to eligible people on campus. Two guys realise the extent of my randomness.
SRC Tracks. Joe is rather quiet and declares Banka and me to be drunk for laughing at random things. I randomly declare that I like my shoes and Banka randomly retorts “You like your shoes. You love your shoes. Go propose to them.” We identify a problem as Banka and I are following the same though process about things which is pretty scary. We randomly check our weights at the SRC area. I rejoice on having crossed half century! For once in my life, I weight 51 ! Note that though I wore shoes, Nike guarantees that they weigh no more than 400 grams so i am still above 50. Yippee! Memorable day. Joe’s desire to know his height is left undone as the tallest measuring thing SRC has reaches till our waists. We randomly decide that the two girls on the tracks would be better off not jogging and decide to move on.
Hall 8 Lounge. Signs of fatigue show. On our way to the Hall, we notice the Police car returning back. We reach the lounge and crash with my laptop. Like good NTU students, we check our mails and immediately log on to facebook. Banka, eager to see my hidden albums, is trying to convince me to log in with no success. The same thought process creepiness carries on initiating a HI 6 from Banka which is met with a shocked reaction on my part and an admittance of not having seen HIMYM Season 6. Photos are transferred from the cell (now charging) to the laptop and scrutinized by voting (which pretty much goes for a toss later). Randomness follows with threats to break my facebook password, my dear lappie being declared ‘too slow’ by two CE/CS (even God can’t remember, only they themselves know) students with the promise of getting it back to normal, with random chatting and devil face chatting on skype and (in my case) bursting into peals of laughter on seeing Joe’s amazingly expressionless face. Suddenly we realise its near noon.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Management Gyan By: Praneet Mervin
* Lesson Number One *
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
* Lesson Number Two *
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
* Lesson Number Three *
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do!
* Lesson Number Four *
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard he bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons Summary:
1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
* Lesson Number Two *
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
* Lesson Number Three *
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do!
* Lesson Number Four *
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard he bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons Summary:
1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
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